Empath. Have you ever heard of that word?
It comes from ‘empathy’ which means: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. But it can go deeper than that.
After years of getting these intense over-the-top sentimental feelings throughout my life, I began to wonder…
Over the past few years I’ve felt things that I knew wasn’t normal to feel. At such a level that I was experiencing, that is.
I always knew and appreciated that I was raised with a tremendous amount of love, and that in deed contributes to the capacity in which I am able to feel for others as a result. Empathy is that ability that grows deeply inside.
But…But. But! It is more than that.
Here’s a true example of an experience I had not too long ago:
One day I was at a stop sign in the Publix parking lot at the pedestrian crossing, patiently waiting for shoppers to cross. Then, a woman walks in front of my car. She must have been in her late 50’s, pushing a shopping cart, and you can see every bone in her lanky frail body. She looked as if she were anorexic, or used to be. The moment happened in slow motion as she glanced at me and we exchanged soft friendly smiles to one another. Her eyes were sunken into her face, and suddenly my smile faded into a heartbroken frown.
Then, that frown turned into tears.
Then, those tears turned into a disheartening sob as I parked my car.
I had to take a moment to let these feelings pass. Those series of emotion became me. I became it. I was what that complete stranger-of-a-woman felt inside.
And, I will never forget that moment.
Being an empath takes a lot of energy out of you. Sometimes being in a highly populated area with people is just too much to handle. I get caught up in the dueling energies…Sometimes I would rather be home.
Throughout my life, random strangers would just come up to me and spill their hearts out as if they have known me for years. I am highly receptive to their energies; they feel comfortable confiding in me for whatever reason. Very often I hear from people “Gosh, I don’t even know why I’m telling you this but…”
I’ve heard it all.
And…I love it all.
I love being that person who somebody can just come up to and pour out their aching souls. I am in tuned with what they usually have to say, and based on feedback I give them sound advice.
I find it rather interesting that I always know what to say to people. Even though I haven’t been in their shoes I can still understand and feel their situations.
Aside from the public, I would choose being alone over sharing experiences with someone just to have company. Company to me is synonymous to the word obligation. I am not being heartless in any shape or form, but I yearn to listen to my own breath over engaging in conversation with someone while trying to take in a good experience! That’s just me.
But literally aside from the public, I have these days where I am highly sensitive to my own self. And, sometimes I have nights where I just want to be in my bathtub for hours. I don’t even want to know of anyone existing, and all I want to do is cry while a solo piano is playing in the background. (Solo Piano Pandora, actually)
And I do cry.
Alone in my bath tub.
But I don’t just cry for the hell of it.
I end up crying for the world.
By now you probably think I am some crazy person. And by all means, I am not your average gal— I will break it to you.
But I cry for the world and you probably are wondering what on earth does that mean. Well, it has everything to do with my intense feelings of empathy. I start to think of one thing and it begins to be a spiraling effect in my mind which creates a lot of hurt in my soul. I get flashes of people in distress, animals hurt, innocent beings that are helpless, hopeless, in need. Then I think about the people who I have known in my life that has had some sort of travesty happen to them or their family. Then I think about love. I think about the person that is present in my love life and how much I love that person, and how much they mean to me. Then I start thinking about their strife and struggles, and before you know it, I am crying for the world.
Not one thought is about myself.
The crazy thing about all of this is that I feel everything that I think. I can actually feel the pain for those people and things.
And…That is what being an empath is all about.
It’s a blessing and a curse. To feel something so deeply that you need to dedicate hours for it to work it’s way out of you.
Those nights happen once in a while, thankfully. But it’s a release that my soul requires in order to resume a healthy life. It’s a time of balance and I don’t negate any of those feelings.
I accept that part of me.
Acceptance is a big part of life. Self acceptance— it’s a survival tool.
I don’t buy into most psychological problems. I believe that all human beings struggle. Labeling our experiences only make us live our life in fear and in shame. We are all human. It’s okay to feel! It’s okay to hurt, it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to scream at the top of our lungs from time to time!
Let whatever it is that needs to escape, escape.
Free it out into the universe! And then exhale those parasitic vibes that have been holding you down.
Think about it.